Paying for things

Just now, I was asked the following by private message on The Attraction Forums. It was a good question.

During a D2 beyond who pays guy, girl, dutch?
If the girl asks me to pay for her like for example meal, coffee, then?
And at what given time do YOU pay for her?

It's a tough one, and I've not been doing this for long enough to really have any solid rules I can recommend.

My old AFC self would always pay for the first meal and buy the first drink. Now, well for a start I haven't yet taken a girl out for a meal as a D2. I favour going for drinks, or better still, coffee during the day works well. Why? Well it's far easier for a girl to accept an invitation to go for a coffee for half an hour than to commit to sitting down for a meal with a guy she doesn't know for two hours. This fits in well with what your girl told you.

Now? Well, I don't buy girls drinks when sarging, unless I've brought them into my group and it's my turn to buy a round. If it's me plus two girls, I'll sometimes tell them that I'll get this round if they get the next one (normally preceded with a "normally I wouldn't do this but,").

On a D2 I will generally get the first drinks and then play it by ear. Most girls will reciprocate, and if they don't and I get thirsty whilst they're nursing a drink I tell them I'm going to get another buy and ask if they'd like another. Normally they'll say no.

If the girl's a student, poor, has just had her cards stolen (that actually genuinely happened once), then I'll happily pay for drinks. I generally don't worry about it too much.

Where I have a big objection though is guys paying for things to bail a girl out. There is no quicker way to get LBJF'd than to have a guy try to seduce a girl by paying for something she needs when she can't afford it. Recently a friend brought a girl he was trying to seduce some groceries as she had no money. I told him not to. He didn't listen. Has he so much as kissed her? I think you can guess the answer.

Girls can look after themselves, and in fact I believe the girls I know have a better handle of their finances than the guys I know. Also, they will almost never let themselves into a situation where they can't afford to eat, or get themselves home etc...

So there we are:

Drinks/meals - not sure but I think it's good to be open to the situation and not let the rules prevent you from making sure the situation runs smoothly. At the same time never make the mistake of buying a girl a drink before she's come on the D2, unless she has A) bought you one or B) has promised to buy the next in exchange.

Everything else - NEVER buy a girl who isn't your actual girlfriend anything that is at all practical/helpful/thoughtful/trying to be kind. No good can come from it and you'll be LJBF'd quicker than anything.

I mean I have a friend who bought a girl he wants to seduce a bloody $120 mp3 player for christmas... I'm currently fucking this GermanGirl and have I gotten her anything? Not a chance.

-B