I've been reading a lot of David DeAngelo material recently. I think it's really excellent and has good macro ideas and good theory on inner game. I'm really getting along well with it and I know it has seriously impacted on my ability.
In one of his eBooks, DD talks about 10 critical moments. They are very good, and I know that following them in this order worked wonders for me recently. I could litterally see myself going through a mental checklist as I crossed them off with GermanGirl.
1. Approach (Walking over and saying hello)
2. Digits (Getting a phone number, email address, etc.)
3. Date request (This can actually be done when you first meet)
4. Date (The actual time with her)
5. Hold hands (The first sustained physical contact)
6. Kiss (The first 'intimate' contact)
7. Alone in private (Trust)
8. Make out (Sexually aroused)
9. Clothes off (Very sexually aroused)
10. Sex (Very very very sexually aroused!)
A very very good formula. It all there, self explanitory and makes very good sense. But I believe for the PUA there is an 11th step missing.
11. Defining the relationship (Getting her to continue having sex with you, whilst accepting that you are non-exclusive).
This step is possibly the scariest one - as unlike the others it's not a natural or necessary step. And it's filled with risk. Nonetheless I feel it's a risk that needs to be taken for the PUA.
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2 comments:
Hey Bandit,
I found your blog today and it makes an interesting read. You remind me v much of myself in my "sex pest" phase. I'll take issue with what you said about telling a woman you're not going to be committed is the scariest part. I think if you want to sleep with multiple women at the same time, tthen you should be honestly willing to walk. Some women will flat out refuse to share you and if you have any sort of integrity, you should end the relationship with the woman. You'll no doubt find yourself on a situation with a beautiful, clever woman who you really like and she'll say something like "I really, really like you but I'm just not prepared to continue seeing you if you're seeing other women" and you'll have to either lie to her or let her go.
Walking away from this sort of situation is easier if you
1. Are ABSOLUTELY convinced in your own mind that you don't want a girlfriend no matter how great the woman is (you have to be brutally honest with yourself about your desires)
2. Are having sex with other women.
I think that integrity is crucial for your own sanity
Good advice. Thank you.
It's odd how so much of the advice I'm reading at the moment stresses the importance of honesty. I guess perhaps it's not something I've taken notice of in the past.
I will do my utmost to be honest with myself, and with the women in my life.
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